How to Find Your Life Purpose
Have you ever felt lost and depressed, just unsure what to do with your life?
There was a time in my life when I remember feeling that way too–my friends were all graduating and starting careers. They were all moving forward in their lives, and I just had no idea what direction to take. It felt like I was standing still while everyone else around me raced ahead as I just quietly panicked inside.
Today, we're going to be talking about that feeling and some simple, direct ways for you to discover your purpose–because you definitely have one, and there's something only you can bring into the world.
“There’s no greater gift you can give or receive than to honor your calling. It’s why you were born and how you become most truly alive”
“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”
“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.”
What I love about these quotes is that they just speak the truth; that everyone, every single person has a purpose, including you, just like birds and flowers and trees and everything you see around you in nature has a purpose as part of an interconnected system.
You have a purpose in life too, and I believe your job in life is to listen to the inner calling inside you, which is leading you to that purpose. That’s why I want to share my framework, which I call Purpose Path, which is seven simple steps to finding your life purpose:
Pay attention to what gives you energy:
I want you to pay attention to what gives you energy.
For example, most things you do take away your energy after you do them, right because you're doing them. But what are the things you do that actually give you energy after you do them?
Pay close attention to this. Okay? And write them all down.
When I made my list back in the day, it was a list of really random things–I noticed I enjoyed doing yoga and writing and spending time in nature and weirdly coordinating and organizing things, talking one on one with people, and eating long lunches.
That was very important to me, and many years later, I figured out what all these things my list mapped out for me, and how all of them made sense together. And it was being a psychologist and entrepreneur in order to make my own schedule to do yoga and spend time in nature and eat long lunches and spend time one on one with people talking about life and being a psychologist. So though your list may seem random, just pay close attention to doing it and do it for at least two weeks straight, I'd say, because it gives you very important data.
Unlock your flow states:
Pay attention to what helps you experience flow.
A flow state is where you don't notice where time goes and it just flies by with the activity that you're doing. It's where you in the moment become one thing where it just feels like there's no separation.
Flow state is a state of complete absorption in activity, where you just lose track of time and feel totally engaged, where you just feel happy because you're doing something meaningful.
Research has found that when people experience flow states, unlike passive types of things like watching TV or consuming content, flow states foster your engagement and learning and personal mastery.
So I want you to pay attention to the activities that give you flow states? Are there certain things that you do that you just become completely absorbed in, where time passes by very quickly. Pay attention to that and write them all down.
Recognize your natural gifts:
I want you to reflect on your natural gifts, your talents, your strengths, and your heart for things.
A gift is something that feels innate to you. They come naturally to you, and it often can show up consistently in your life, not just a one time occurrence, and they give you a sense of meaning when they’re used. A gift also tends to nourish you and contribute to the people in the world around you.
Remember: You may be strong at something and it might come very naturally to you, but you might not actually realize it's a strength because it's so natural and obvious to you. You might not realize you have a gift until you're in community or in relationships with other people–that’s why community is so important, because that's actually the context by which our gifts often come out.
Process your pain:
Examine your pain and suffering. Sometimes it's actually the most difficult things you've been through that can give your life immense meaning and purpose. Your pain is something that can actually help others.
This is something called redemptive suffering, and it changes the meaning of your suffering into something that can help others.
And there's a lot of therapists out there that have actually experienced this, maybe where you yourself were depressed or had a difficult childhood, and now you're a therapist helping people with depression, because you personally understand how difficult it can be and how to make it through, and it gives you a really strong sense of meaning and purpose.
Open space for your inner calling:
These are the whispers inside you, the intuitions you have your own inner knowing, things you know deeply inside yourself, but which you might be afraid to hear, or which you might not have leaned into or really explored yet.
I want you to give space to them, and it might be uncomfortable, because it could be things you've been pushing away or afraid to know.
Make time for stillness, make time for meditation, make time to be in nature–because that's the only way you're going to be able to hear yourself, hear what's coming up inside you, hear your intuition, hear your inner calling. When you practice listening to your inner calling, it's a skill like riding a bicycle, and it actually gets stronger and louder.
Seek life experience:
Give yourself time to explore and live life. Sometimes you just might not know what your purpose is, because you haven't lived enough life yet.
I want you to go out and do things and take your time to get to know yourself and just get experiences, because that's actually going to give you important data. And that data is going to tell you all the things that you're sensing and knowing and feeling inside yourself in different situations, which you can then use to better understand your purpose in life.
Extend yourself in service:
What you've got to realize is your life purpose isn't actually just about you.
It's always going to be in connection to and in service of others.
For example, it could be becoming a baker or raising a child. It could be teaching, it could be so many different things, but notice how your purpose is so much bigger than you alone. It involves serving others and helping them. So ask yourself, how can I use my gifts, talents and abilities, to help others, to serve others?
Asking this question is extremely powerful, and will help you find your place in the world, where who you naturally are aligns with what the world needs.
Listen to the full episode of the Inner Calling podcast “How to Find Your Life Purpose When You Are Feeling Lost” to learn more about this framework here!
Announcements for our community of Inner Callers:
We're starting up a book club! The book we've selected is called Accidentally on Purpose by Kristen Kish. We'll be releasing an episode talking about the first four chapters in mid-September. So read along with us!