Shame, addiction, and spirituality as soul medicine with Brenton Queen, LMFT
I was in a shame spiral the other day when my friend Brenton said something that helped me immensely. We talk about suicidal ideation, the shame driving addiction, and the irreverent therapist who changed Brenton's life with a Post-it Note.
We talk about how shame underlies addiction, why your problems aren't special, and why that can be one of the most freeing things you can hear. We discuss spirituality as soul medicine, psychedelic-assisted therapy, and why being ordinary is the antidote to shame.
This episode contains an open conversation about depression, suicidal thoughts, and addiction. Please take care of yourself and take a break if you need to. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988.
In this conversation, we discuss:
Feeling like a fraud but looking put together on the outside
Experiencing suicidal ideation
The client who helped Brenton seek treatment for himself
Meeting Ed, the therapist who saved his life
Learning to work with shame in a new way
Recognizing self-centeredness and arrogance
Shame spirals and realizing you’re not special - you’re human like everyone else
The spectrum of grandiosity and self-deprecation, and how both make us feel separate
Shame, judgment, and loneliness
Using the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous to grind away at shame and addiction
Expectations as pre-planned resentments, and how they impede connection
How shame is the root of addiction, and how it’s a cycle that reinforces itself
Why addiction is a solution to a problem and how also becomes a problem
Seeing addicts as people in pain, and acknowledging that pain
Transformation, expanded states, and plant medicine
Spirituality as soul medicine
Incorporating spirituality into therapy
What people experience with plant medicine
The importance of mystical experiences in life
What Brenton would say to his 2011 self
Brenton Queen, LMFT: “Life is magical. Life is good. And it is difficult. And it is horrible. It's all of the things, and it's good to look at that. This is one of the things with shame that I dealt with. You know, I didn't want there to be all these ugly things. And Ed had me get that, hey, those ugly things are part of being a human. They're, you need those, we need all the stuff, we need all of it, that it's all happening, it's all perfect, and it's all here to use. Yeah, the mystical is here, and we forget that. We forget that, in being on autopilot and running through our day and handling all the things on our list we have to handle until you know you, we have an experience with a medicine, maybe that has us see that it's magical, is here.”
Brenton Queen, LMFT, LCAS, CEC is a Marriage & Family Therapist, Addiction Specialist, and founder of Life Recreated. Over 20 years, he's worked with individuals, families, and groups across homes, hospitals, jails, and boardrooms, with a focus on relieving suffering and helping people reconnect with their deepest selves. He completed a certificate in psychedelic-assisted therapy and research through the California Institute of Integral Studies and has spoken at TEDx on psychedelics and the future of mental health treatment.
Listen to the full conversation on the innercalling podcast here.
For those who prefer a visual experience, you can check out the conversation on YouTube here.
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