Becoming the Father You Never Had with Dr. David Wen
In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. David Wen, a licensed clinical psychologist at Hope+Wellness who specializes in working with children, parents, and fathers. He brings clinical expertise and lived experience to his work, supporting dads and parents in showing up in ways that feel meaningful, even in the face of real-world parenting challenges.
In this conversation, we discuss:
how parenting is a skill that can be taught & learned like math
why anger is often the first challenge for fathers
the tension between what you received growing up and the kind of father you want to be
how small moments with your child can make a lasting difference
self-care, emotional regulation, and simple in-the-moment tools when things escalate
the pressure many fathers carry as providers and how it impacts their capacity to show up at home
advice for new fathers
Dr. David Wen: I very much want to be a good father. I want to be a better father than my father was, a better father parent than my parents were, and for me, that means that I need to be aware of how my mood is and how I'm interacting with her [my daughter], and being able to see how it affects her…It's not uncommon that people feel this way, because, again, men were not set up to be great fathers. We weren't taught a lot of the skills. We weren't given a lot of the opportunities. This does not excuse what we do and how we are. I want to be clear about that, right? Like men need to be responsible for things, and the ways that they suppress, oppress, and all the -isms they enact. I want to be clear about that. But what it does is it gives you, gives us, an understanding so that then we can address those to figure out how to be better. And so encouragement would be to feel it. You're not alone. You're not the only one who's like this, and it makes sense why you're like this. You're not weird, you're not a horrible person because of it. Use that as energy, a drive, motivation to become better, to figure out what to do so that you can become the father you want to be.
Listen to the full conversation on the innercalling podcast here.
For those who prefer a visual experience, you can check out the conversation on YouTube here.
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